Craving

It's always around. No matter where she turns, no matter what she do, it's there. She sees it. She feels its presence. She can almost taste it. She knows in her mind and in her heart that she only wants it because it's there. The variety is endless. The pickings is more than few. It's there at her grasp. she acknowledges it without even trying. She says no. She turns away, and it's there, staring her in the face again. She has the ability to control herself. She can't shake it off. She can't stop it from being there. Rejection is her only option. She knows she's alone in this struggle, but support is never too far from her grasp. She ask for it when necessary, but her conscience reminds her of what will come if she takes it, accepts it, aligns herself with it. She is her own person, but she can't be with it. She enjoys it, but it is not good for her. She likes how it never goes away, but she wishes sometimes that it will. It always being there hinders more than helps. The truth is that she doesn't want to deal with it, and it's only a headache and heartbreak. Yet, she thinks about it. Hears about it. Wants to talk about it. No, that can't happen. She has been negative enough. She sees it. She knows it's there, yet she ignores it. ENOUGH!! She screams. She cries. She fusses. She fights. She laughs. She smiles. She embraces her inner self. She tells herself that she can do this. She believes it. It can't do anything to her now. It can't do anything for her benefit. She walks away proudly with her head held high. She guarantees herself that she will not give in to it or have anything to do with it. Regardless of what the world may think. Regardless of what she wants. Regardless of what is going on. She will win this war. She will come out on top. She will be the victor once and for all. And then, only then, she will move on to the next best thing.