Feeling

To be able to feel is a gift and a curse. The gift has the positive moments where it is happy to know that there is hope, good, and joy in the world. To be able to smile, laugh, live, and love make up the beauty of feeling. To show others they matter. To let people know they are worth it. To express to people the love that is felt for them. Every thing has its bad side. The curse of feeling comes with pain, anger, sadness, and despair. To be able to feel means to know what its like to be heartbroken. To produce the emotions to cry. To have the hatred for others. Feelings of jealousy and rage. Moods of disappointment and lack of care. To want to hide from the world instead of embrace it. Feelings bring on the internal conflict that people have in their own minds and hearts. The war between the good and evil of one's emotions. No, its not about one specific thing. Its just feelings, which are either worn on a sleeve or hidden in a steel box to never be seen. Can one person feel for another? Can someone really know how another is feeling? Can feelings be shared or is it just an individual thing? The darkness that has fallen can bring the feelings that are best left alone, but there is always that little ray of light that brings on the feelings that are best to express and want. If it wasn't for feeling, there would be no love gained. If it wasn't for feeling, there would be no love lost. Hurt and joy wouldn't exist. The world would be just one nonchalant place, and everyone would act the same. As these tears are shedding in this room filled with darkness, the feelings that are best to kept inside are escaping and being released only to oneself. May the person that gets to be in the presence of these feelings have mercy on their own...

The Workings of the Mind

The things that flow through a mind are so influential to the heart. The things that can be transported to the mind from the heart can be something critical. The mind tells the heart to pump physically and keep a person going. Its counterpart does just that. The heart tells the mind how to feel mentally. Sometimes, the mind does just that. Sounds simple in its own way, but that only happens some of the time. Emotions get in the way. Feelings start to affect the mind. Stress starts to deter the messages. Pain starts to take away from what is happening. The heart is only one of many things that affect the thoughts. As I sit here and listen to this wonderful sound play in my ear, I wonder about the things of my then, my now, and my soon to be. I think about the people sitting in the other room. I think about the ones that have ventured upstairs. I think about the one on the way here. I think about the one that I wish was here. I think about the one that is always here. I think about the love that I have to give. I think about the love that I have lost. The hatred that I have kept in a dark place. The feelings that I can't express. The emotions that I have continuously wanted to bring out and show. The things that I say to one. The package that I wish I could bring to the other. The words that I don't care to express to the others. The friends that I love to keep in my life. The family that hold so close. The past relationships that I have had. The potential relationships that I can gain. What was. What is. What could be. What could have been. Oh how I wish I could write the melody of what is in my mind into a song like the one that plays in my ear. How I wish I could really be the person that is in my dreams. How I could kiss the lips of the one that I have longed for. How I could hold the person that has captured a place in my beautiful world. Separation is something that I have practiced greatly, but that wall is slowly starting to crumble, and I don't know how to repair it, but I do know how to tear down the old and build a new. Do I want to tear it down and feed into what the heart is saying? Is it right or is it the mind trying to build its own interpretation of what the heart is saying? So much to feel...so much to contemplate...so much to think about...so much for one to take...the ups, the downs, the trials, the tribulations, the smiles, the frowns, the laughs, the cries...the stress, the love, the hate, the sad, the happy, the physical, the mental, the want, the need...the work, the play, the relaxation, the obligation, the friend, the enemy...Taking in so much of a beat down and still able to recover and heal. No, the heart is not the subject as it may seem in the vocabulary that has just been arranged and exhibited in the sentences before this one. The mind is the centerpiece of this composition. Sometimes a person just has to let it work...and let the heart work right beside it...come along my friend, let us try and make sense of some of the events of my life...then, now, and soon-to-be...